angelina rayanne (goddess_oph) wrote,
angelina rayanne
goddess_oph

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razorblades and ex's

well where to start off..hmm..for begginners i guess lets start off with the fact that i have been having dreams about the former abusive ex..i have dreams that i cheat on my fiance with him..i dont understand it..it really confuses the shit out of me..i dont think about him or talk about him..i dont even see him for crying out loud..so WTF..and in my dreams hes so different..hes the way that he was when we first met..you know that "im so nice and you are crazy to think that id ever hurt you.."act..whatever..and in my dreams its like i fall for it all over again..WTF..i just dont get it..oh well..i guess i never will..well..i feel wierd again..this no work is really fucking with my head all over again..im having the dreams about killing myself again..you know the ones where im in a warm hot and i slit my wrists with a razorblade and the blood gets so think in the tub that its like paint..again i dont understand these dreams..cause im not thinking about trying to kill myself again..but im having the dreams..dreams are very wierd things..they are hard to understand..i mean what do dreams really mean..i used to believe that dreams were memories from past lives..but i dont believe in past lives..so what could be another explanation..they are just so out there..and i have had some wierd ones..i used to write them down for my counciler..i think i still have one still around here..ill put that on my next update..and let you people decide what you think it means..ive already analyzed that one..but ill let you guys analyze it for me as well..anyhoo..guess im off to more dreams that cant be explained..night to all..
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